Bill Hicks: It's Just a Ride

ou never see positive drug stories on the news, do ya? Ain’t that weird? Since most of the experiences I’ve had on drugs… were real fucking positive! Who are these morons they’re finding? That’s what I wanna know. I used to wanna to call the news, “Come over to our house!” “Watch Tommy, he’s a pig! Film him!” [*Hog Sounds*] “He’s been doing that for hours.” “He’s killing us! You gettin’ all that?” 

You know what I mean. Always that same LSD story, you’ve all seen it. “Young man on acid, thought he could fly, jumped out of a building. What a tragedy.” What a dick, fuck him! He’s an idiot. If he thought he could fly, why didn’t he take off from the ground first? Check it out. You don’t see ducks lining up to catch elevators to fly South. They fly from the ground, you moron. Quit ruining it for everybody. He’s a moron, he’s dead. Good. We lost a moron, fucking celebrate. Wow – I just felt the world get lighter – we lost a moron. Put on the Hammer album, I’m ready to dance! “We lost a moron.” I don’t mean to sound cold or cruel, or vicious, but I am. So, that’s the way it comes out. Professional help is being sought. 

How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn’t that be news-worthy just once? To base your decisions on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? Just once. I think it would be news-worthy. “Today, a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration.” “That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.” “There’s no such thing as death, life’s only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.” “Here’s Tom with the weather.”  

You’ve been fantastic and I hope you enjoyed it. There is a point… Is there a point to all this? Let’s find a point. Is there a point to my act? I would say there is. I have to. The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it’s real, because that’s how powerfull our minds are. The ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it’s very brightly coloured and it’s very loud and it’s fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question “Is this real or is this just a ride?” And other people have remembered and they come back to us they say, “Hey, don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.” And we… kill those people. “Shut him up.” “We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up!” “Look at my furrows of worry.” “Look at my bank account and my family.” “This just has to be real.” It’s just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here’s what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spent on weapons and defense each year and instead, spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world which it would many times over, not one human being excluded and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer forever, in peace. - Bill Hicks